Flower Girls: Top 10 Tips on How to Look after Your Little People

By Felicity Newburry

There is a reason for the multitudes of resources available on how to work with kids – it can be a tricky business! This is unsurprising, given the huge differences in levels of maturity and ways of viewing the world, as well as decades of age separation thrown in the mix. It’s not unusual to be more than a little nervous when including children in your wedding ceremony, but please, have no fear! Including a flower girl could turn out to be one of the biggest highlights of the day, for both you and your guests. To help you out, we have put together 10 tips for working with your chosen little princess in the best way possible.


Image by We Do Photography + Design

1. Dress them up without “dressing them up”

Unless your flower girl adores poofy dresses and takes the state of her shoes very seriously, consider steering clear of beautiful, big, flower girl dresses. Instead, you could choose something more comfortable and maintainable. Even better, choose something they can easily wear again. More often than not, the wonderful flower girl dresses you might have worn as a child are uncomfortable for kids, and can lead to that eventual attitude crash sooner than you’d like!

2. Practice doesn’t ensure “perfect”

Though it’s important to go through your flower girl’s responsibilities ahead of time, remember that no amount of practice will ensure her walk will go smoothly on the day. Not only this, but too much practice will surely do more harm than good, as she may get too tired, nervous or plain sick of the gig.

flower girls

Image by Anna Munro Photography

flower girls

Image by Anna Munro Photography

3. Endow the honour without the pressure!

While undoubtedly your flower girl will have puffed her chest out with the pride at being asked to be the flower girl, be sure to quietly remove as much pressure from her little shoulders as you can. For example, if she is responsible for escorting your beloved pup, or maybe she has a joint role as a ring bearer, make these tasks as easy as possible. Put your pup on a leash, or perhaps give the real rings to your maid of honor or best man, and leave the ring cushion as pure symbolism. The thing with giving responsibilities like these to kids is they may either get far too stressed about them, or they won’t comprehend the importance at all. Both situations can lead to hiccoughs you’d rather avoid.

4. Start speaking “kid”

This could be the single-most important tool in your toolbox – speaking “kid”. You and your bridal party all need to keep front and foremost in your mind that while your flower girl is not silly, she also doesn’t speak adult. Sometimes talking to her about the pressures of the wedding or her responsibility as if she too is an adult can make everything scary! Putting yourself on her level and talking to her in a relaxed and friendly way will make a world of difference. As well as this, speaking “kid” also includes things like, “Hey, I know you’re feeling pretty over this right now, but if you just hold out until after the speeches, I promise you I’ll get you a big ice cream from the kitchen – how does that sound?”

flower girls

Image by Sarah McEvoy Photography

flower girls

Image by Candy Capco Photography

5. Put yourself in their iddy-biddy shoes

Imagine what it’s like to be a kid, and if you can’t do that, imagine what it’s like to be really, really short and surrounded by a bunch of grown ups who are too busy in their grown up conversations to notice you. Further, image heaps of them saying that they saw you as a wee baby but you’re sure you’ve never met them in your life! Finally, add to that that you’ve been up since early that morning, you’ve got lots of pins in your hair that are falling out and all you want to do is take this stiff, poofy dress off! If you can do that, you’ve almost put yourself in your little flower girl’s sweaty, sparkly shoes. Bear these experiences in mind when you’re planning around her. There may be some things you could do that would make the event more enjoyable and tolerable for the little lass.

6. Their energy will have an expiration date

Like you, kids don’t run on an endless supply of Red Bull. They will certainly hit the wall and it will undoubtedly be at some stage during the reception. This is when things can get ugly and it’s no wonder when you remember to put yourself in their shoes. The only thing you can do here is delay the inevitable for as long as is fair on your flower girl. You can do this by ensuring she is well fed on things other than fizzy drink and jelly, making sure she is comfortable (so perhaps having a change of clothes on hand) and if she is really little, it could be wise to have a nap area.

flower girls

Image by We Do Photography + Design

flower girls

Image by Anna Munro Photography

7. Ensure that they feel just as important as your maid of honor

For older flower girl’s, it is important that they feel important. While you do want to keep as much pressure off them as possible, it’s key to both the smooth running of the ceremony and reception as well as to the flower girl herself that she knows she is a special figure at your wedding! Include her in things such as getting dressed for the wedding and the bridesmaid’s photos. If she’s sure she is important, she will be less likely to get cranky or sick of the process too soon.

8. Find yourself a super-nanny

Worth their weight in gold for weddings with plenty of children, babysitters can make a world of difference. We’re not talking about getting your oldest niece or nephew to watch the kids, but a trusted, paid adult to take the responsibility of seeing to your flower girl and the other children’s needs as well as keeping them entertained. This will also prevent or delay any tired-tantrums towards the end of the event.

flower girls

Image by Sarah McEvoy Photography

flower girls

Image by Candy Capco Photography

9. Make the experience fun

As adults, we are used to doing jobs for other people because we do it every day (hopefully!). Kids however, are not. The one thing that could blow your whole decision to involve children in your wedding is if they feel like they are doing a chore. As this is hopefully not at all what you want them to feel, make the whole process fun! Let them dress up in costumes for the rehearsal, have fun songs that they know and can dance to during the reception, and most importantly, have kid food! Kids don’t want to eat filet mignon, they want to eat food that they like and are familiar with. Forcing them to sit down in front of a plate of “adult” food is not fun.

10. Let them be kids!

Last but not least, while bearing all the above in mind when dealing with children at weddings, be sure to just let them be kids. So what if at one stage you have a rogue flower girl? Let it go! Think how much fun she could be when just left to be her young and adorable self! So what if she won’t pose the way you want her to in photographs or stand still at the altar? All of these things are what make her a kid and are what will make your day so much more fun and authentic!

flower girls

Image by Anna Munro Photography

SARAH MCEVOY PHOTOGRAPHY

Sarah’s passion is photography with a journalistic, documentary-esque flair. She prides herself on telling your story in the most authentic way and capturing the love, emotion and spirit of your wedding day. She especially likes to quietly snap images of those fleeting looks, warm embraces and animated conversations that are often missed throughout your big day.

CANDY CAPCO PHOTOGRAPHY

Candy’s specialty is working with natural light and lifestyle in her photography. She is in love with utilizing soft colours, warm tones and raw emotion in her work and this is what she strives to bring to the images for her customers. Candy describes her style as a blend of modern and vintage romance with documentary style photography. She is a romantic at heart and both loves and takes wedding photography very seriously, while always prioritizing those hidden and un-staged moments.

WE DO PHOTOGRAPHY & DESIGN

Jason and Aneta are two creative wedding photographers with a special edge. They believe photography is always immensely evolving and make it their mission to be forever at the forefront of modern documentary style photography. Jason and Aneta strive to create something individual and unique for every couple. They aim to ensure couples feel like rock stars who are having the time of their life, while being caught in cutting-edge, award winning photography.

ANNA MUNRO PHOTOGRAPHY

Anna is your girl-next-door photographer, who loves cats, cheese, wine and anything romantic. But most of all, Anna loves what she does – creating nationally acclaimed and awarded photographs of “captured moments”. She takes her job very seriously and describes herself as a bit of a spy (but only in the best way!) – she is a spy hunting out those beautiful moments others would miss. Anna prides herself on capturing the twinkle in a father’s eye and the love on a new husband’s face as his bride walks down the aisle. 

flower girls

Image by Anna Munro Photography



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