1/ Be willing to get involved
Image by Eric Kelley Photography (cover image by Danilo & Sharon)
Every couple is different when it comes to wedding planning. Some grooms-to-be will split the work 50:50, some will have areas of interest they want to take ownership of, others will offer moral support but leave much of the decision making to their other half.
The key is never to make assumptions about what you will or won’t do. Instead, have an open conversation about the roles you (and your fiancée) will play in the planning. Will you be responsible for the groomsmen and the bride’s gift only? Will you be involved in the bigger picture – the location, the guest list, the budget? Or all of that, plus the finer details? Will your role be an equal partner, consultant, or support? (Remember: there’s no right or wrong answer. Go with what works for both of you, your interests and schedules!)
2/ Be organised and diligent
Image by Jose Villa Photography
Once you know which parts of the planning you’ll be involved with, and how, it’s time to set yourself to the task! In general, it pays to be proactive. Do some research into what a wedding planning timeline looks like and then delve deeper into the subjects you’ll be most involved in, whether that’s the budget, guest list, venue hunting or entertainment. Make a schedule or checklist and give yourself deadlines to stick to. If applicable, keep your own wedding admin – emails, contact numbers, quotes, samples, receipts – well organised. Attend vendor interviews and meetings. Show and interest and express an opinion. Set aside time to share planning progress and thoughts with your bride-to-be and (equally important!) to relax and decompress together away from the wedding workload.
3/ Be prepared for the wedding morning
Image by Simply Sarah Photography
The wedding day will be pretty well regimented, so make sure you’re clear about how the timeline will play out before adding in any extras like beers by the beach or a game of golf.
Of course, this works the other way too – you’ll want to be prepared for any down time. Traditionally groomsmen get ready a bit faster than the bride and bridesmaids, so thinking ahead and planning some simple games and/or drinks can be a great way to keep things moving. (Drinks in moderation, of course!)
4/ Be polished
Image by Patina Photography
You’ll be treasuring photos of this day for years to come. While the thing that most shines through is the emotion, it doesn’t hurt to get yourself looking as polished as possible. Looking good starts from within – get plenty of rest the night before and eat a hearty breakfast when you wake up. When it comes to getting ready, think about visiting a barber and getting your hair (and beard, if applicable) done in honour of the big day. Otherwise, be sure to stick with shaving and hygiene products you regularly use to avoid any unforeseen skin irritation or discomfort. (And bring deodorant and mints with you, if you can, to prolong the feeling of freshness throughout the wedding!)
5/ Be romantic
Image by Avodah Photography
Declaring your love on your wedding day doesn’t have to be limited to the vows. Go above and beyond with some extra touches to surprise your bride to be. Some thoughtful examples include:
- Love letters (whether that is one heartfelt note or several shorter ones written to be opened at different points of the morning, i.e., before you get ready, before you walk down the aisle, etc.)
- A surprise message (something short and sweet in an unexpected place, whether written on soles of her wedding shoes, sewn into the lining of her dress or engraved in the wedding ring)
- Wedding morning treats (something as simple as arranging breakfast in bed with her favourite foods. Or perhaps gifting a spa treatment before she gets ready if it can be squeezed into the schedule)
Most importantly, don't be afraid to cry! Weddings are truly special; they signify a massive shift in your life and the emotion of it all can be overwhelming. On your big day, you will be starting an adventure that will last the rest of your days, and you get to share it with none other than the love of your life - if that makes you cry tears of joy, then let it!
Image by Danilo & Sharon